28th
my seasonal depression is in full swing.
i haven’t really written here in a long time and i never really understand why. anyways, nothing is really new here. i’ve just been doing a lot of listening to music and a lot of work. that’s all i ever do now. get up, go to class, come home, eat lunch, and do homework for almost the rest of the night. occasionally there’s a few breaks for the necessities: facebook, twitter, tumblr, more food, etc. but mostly i’m either reading or writing papers for class. classes that i find to be useless, boring, and completely irrelevant to my future. i really don’t see how whether or not i can draw a surrealist picture has anything to do with PR. and i think all philosophers are hypocrites. and, quite frankly, i just don’t care about “the clash of civilizations”. here’s my philosophy on that: can’t we all just get along? but really, i don’t see how any of this is helping me move towards my degree. it’s only teaching me ways of “beating the system” aka perfecting the art of bullshit. and i’ve become quite the picaso of it.
anywho, nothing is really new. the city is really turning into fall. i never really thought about it, but its actually quite pretty to see these tall buildings, yet have the leaves be reds, oranges, and yellows. it’s a nice balance. balance. something of which i seem to have none of lately. call me crazy, but i am really missing home lately. “but ash, you call chicago your home. you’re being a hypocrite.” yeah well, i never said i wasn’t. and yes, i will always say chicago is my home. but i mean, i kind of miss the little things of the nl. you know the stupid stuff. taco bell or burrito loco at obscene hours of the early AM, going for a stroll in the commons, going a bike ride to clear my mind, my dog. oh jesus, i miss that creature more than i miss the majority of the people in my life. how stupid/scary/pathetic is that? but yes, i think it’s save to say, like the title does, my seasonal depression is in full swing. and i don’t think this music is helping. i’ve done nothing but listen to bon iver, jon foreman, and “we chose the king” by brighten for the past week now. i am just a few death cab lyrics and buffalo plaids away from being the emoist kid on the depaul campus. oh well, just a few more weeks. that’s all i keep telling myself anyways. just a few more weeks and then six, blissful weeks off. ha- i know once i’m off for a few weeks i’ll be on here bitching about how much i hate nl and want to be back here. which, oh yeah i can, because i LIVE here now. (i don’t think that will ever fully set in…i have a permanent address in the city that i love more than life itself…)
okay, WOW. that went on for a LOT longer than i intended. i hope you didn’t read it all. if you did, bless your wittle heart. i promise i’ll make up for it with treats next time i see you.
